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12 Reasons White Socks Are The End Of The World As We Know It

November 25, 2015 1 Comment

12 Reasons White Socks Are The End Of The World As We Know It

The good, the bad, and the ugly on white socks.

1.They kill your smooth nighttime style

If you wear white socks, your attempts to look effortlessly elegant will be for none. Unless you're planning to go all white with your evening wear, white socks never match anything. Planning to pair black dress shoes with white socks? Now that's just a guaranteed way to spoil your outfit. White socks are better off trying to blend with white walls or typing sheets than any man's tuxedo.

2. They clash with jeans

Jeans are one of the most popular types of apparel in the world, worn by the likes of men, women, children and even animals  It's a well known fact that denim goes well with pretty much anything.... that is, unless you're pairing denim with white socks. No one's every said, those white socks look great with your skinny jeans. So unless you're Jerry Seinfeld or looking to achieve a norm core chic look, white socks and jeans will always be considered a no no. With our women's sock of the month club, you are guaranteed to look smashing!

3. They get dirty in seconds

While fun colorful socks can be worn for hours without showing any signs of dirt, white socks will make you look like you never go near laundry detergent. No matter how much you bleach or scrub white socks, they'll only actually appear fresh and white for so long.  If you so much as go outside to get the newspaper when you're wearing white socks, you can forget about them ever looking clean—say hello to gray socks for eternity.

4. They spoil the mood

Stains can be quite effective at dampening the mood when you're with someone you want to get intimate with. White socks are like a chaperone looking over your shoulder when you're trying to get frisky. Even a tiny spot on them can be a distraction.

5. They won't make you feel awesome

It's hard to be a worry wart, and with white socks on, you'll always be worried about what will happen to them and how you'll look if something goes wrong. You'll never feel as awesome in white socks as anyone else in fun colorful socks. 

6. They clash with your work suits

Try looking serious and intimidating while wearing a pair of white socks. It just doesn't work. Competitors will underbid you just for the fun of it. Our men's sock subscription sends you the best dress socks each month. 

7. They remind everyone of sweat

White socks are typically worn to the gym. They've become known as sportswear and just like putting on sneakers with a sharp suit, wearing them outside of the gym or other sporting arenas doesn't work well. You'll be a constant reminder to the people around you, that you have clammy, sweaty feet. Gross!

8. They make you look lazy

Picking out a pair of socks that matches your outfit takes time. Picking out fun socks shows that you pay attention to detail; it shows that you're a person who likes to take care of yourself and your environment. If you wear white socks some might assume you're too lazy to bother with yourself, when in fact that's not who you are at all.

9. They make your shoe selection a thing of the past

White socks don't look good with most shoe styles. Its not everyday that you see someone wearing a pair of good old fashion white socks with loafers, wingtips, or boat shoes (because they'd look ridiculous). However, if you're one of those people whose not ready to give up your white sock wearing habit, you can kiss every pair of shoes but your sneakers goodbye

10. They make women fein sickness

They say don't judge a book by its cover—but when you wear white socks, it's likely your going to be judged. Some women have admitted faking sock to avoid going on a date  with a white sock wearer (so they don't have to pretend not to stare at those hideous white socks).

11. They give rise to anarchy

Police officers, soldiers and other men in uniform just look weak in white socks, causing laughter when they try to arrest someone. [It's no wonder the UPS men get to wear greenish khaki socks to match their uniforms.]

12. They contribute to global warming

White socks are thick and trap heat, causing extinction of various species, like your pinky toe!

1 Response

Steven Atlas Gallagher-Skinner
Steven Atlas Gallagher-Skinner

June 17, 2018

Men who wear white socks ate generally good looking, athletic and way to concerned about their ability to wear whatever the hell they want. Football players wear white tube socks on or off the field. I know. Cause I’m one of them. Jeans, white tube socks and white runners are universally the ‘in’ thing to wear. Not everybody can pull them off. Girls who try and get their man to stop wearing them are control freaks. Lazy – too lazy to wash her man’s sports socks. The issue should be, why aren’t you wearing them? Aside from being type cast as a person who follows rather than leading. Men should take back the world and tell anyone who says – ‘No’ to white socks. Get over it. More importantly, get yourself a pair. And spend some money. Not a dollar for a pair.
Steve

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