Every year hundreds of thousands of American’s (just made that statistic up) sit in their office waiting for the clock to strike 5:00 PM so they can run to the nearest Mexican restaurant and get their Cinco de Mayo drinking on. I’d say this only happens on May 5th, better known as Cinco de Mayo, or more recently as Cinco de Drinko, however, any self-respecting member of this century knows that 5:00 PM on any weekday is a good time to go drink, especially if you subscribe to our sock of the month club!
Unfortunately, for all of us who LOVE Cinco de Mayo as much (or maybe even more than) the 4th of July—but still less than Thanksgiving—we don’t get a proper day off of work to celebrate. So, here’s a solution to celebrate one of the best day’s of the year while in the office.
Before you head over to work pack up your cooler with ice, tequila, limes, margarita mix, and guacamole—bring chips and salsa in a separate bag. You may also need to bring a blender unless you already own the Coolest Cooler (in which case the blender comes attached).
Once at work blend up some margaritas (include your co-workers who are exciting enough to join in on your morning fiesta) and pour your festive Mexican beverage into your coffee mug. Proceed to your morning activities as normal and refill your mug when it’s empty. If you start to feel like your margarita mugs are going to your head, put those chips, salsa, and guacamole to good use in your stomach (aka let them soak up the alcohol).
When lunch time arrives walk, or convince one of your not-so-fun aka sober co-workers to drive you, to the closest chain Mexican restaurant you can find (unless you live in California in which case you can probably find delicious Mexican restaurants everywhere) and order a chimichanga—after all it’s Cinco de Mayo.
Once you get back to the office, set an alarm clock to go off in thirty minutes, and then revel in the glory of your food coma by curling up into a ball under your desk for an afternoon siesta. When you wake up feeling refreshed, immediately start blending up margarita batch number two to prevent a hangover from coming on.
As soon as 5:00 hits, race like hell to your favorite Mexican bar to meet up with your friends (who are probably way too sober) and get crackin on Cinco de Drinko.